Forgiven
by 13EvansNoodle
Summary: Even though she knows he's not going to be coming. Even though she knows that he's been lost to her forever. Next week, on Saturday, Agent Peggy Carter can't stop herself from going to the Stork Club. Fool's dream or not, she'll sit and wait for her Captain. Caps/Peggy OneShot.


**AN: The lyrics scattered through the oneshot are "Forgiven" by Within Temptation, I just wanted to write this because…well, mainly I just listened to "Forgiven" today and really felt that Peggy/Steve suited the song, but also because I love Captain America (and just Marvel in general), and thought that their little romance deserved some closure. Hope that it's okay.**

Forgiven

"_Couldn't save you from the start  
Love you so it hurts my soul  
Can you forgive me for trying again  
Your silence makes me hold my breath  
Time has passed you by."_

It was a 7:45 when Peggy entered the Stork Club, a relatively small establishment, but it has escaped the war with very little damage, making it one of the more popular places for people to come now that the war was over. As was to be expected at this hour, the bar was quite full of people, and while this had been Peggy's intent when she'd suggested this location, now that she was here she just wished that it was a little less crowded.

The air in the room was heated from the presence of so many people, and she had to shrug off her coat when she managed to slide into a small table that still gave her a view of the door. Peggy had never been one of those girls to own a whole wardrobe of party dresses, it was impractical considering her job, so she wore the same red suit that she had worn the last time she had been with Steve at a bar. Although that time it had only been to inform him of Howard's new shield designs. She wished now that she'd perhaps asked him to dance then, rather than just thought to let the opportunity wait until after the war. She'd always dreaded, but never dared to truly think, of the prospect that one of them might not make it out alive.

"_Oh, for so long, I've tried to  
Shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the  
Freedom on your own  
Here I am, left in silence."_

Now she sat, and she waited, a drink that she didn't even remember ordering sat unnoticed at her elbow. Her eyes never once left the door as she watched people come and go. The music playing in the next room made her want to go and dance, but she didn't move, she was waiting for her partner.

It was amazing how slowly 15 minutes could crawl by. But Peggy was no stranger to the strange workings of time. During the war she remembers days that felt like they'd lasted seconds, and seconds that she felt had lasted days.

"_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven."_

Every time the door swung open, she sat up a little straighter in her seat. If whoever entered was blonde, she would strain forward to see closer, until she realised that the man was far too short to be Steve. Likewise, if a tall man should enter, she would let her hopes rise, until the hat came off to reveal dark hair. At 7:55, she even stood, seeing the back of a man's head, and she swore that it could have been the man she was waiting for. But no. He turned, and his face was not the one her heart was anticipating. Hopes once more fallen, she felt herself drop into her seat.

"_I watched the clouds drifting away  
Still the sun can't warm my face  
I know it was destined to go wrong  
You were looking for the great escape  
To chase your demons away."_

Why had she done this? She knew that he wouldn't be coming. That final conversation had been a simply fantasy of something they both wanted, but would now never have.

"_I'm going to need a rain check on that dance," he'd asked; trying to keep his voice level as he piloted the plane into a crash._

_Peggy swallowed back her own fear for him, knowing that continuing to talk like this would help him, and right now he would need that courage more than she needed to cry, "All right. A week next Saturday, at The Stork Club."_

"_You've got it," he agreed._

"_Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?" she said commandingly, or at least, she hoped she sounded commanding, and that the shaking in her voice was just to her imagination._

"_You know, I still don't know how to dance," he reminded her._

_That was almost too much, and she had to shut her eyes for a moment to press back tears, "I'll show you how. Just be there."_

"_We'll have the band play something slow," he assured, "I'd hate to step on your-"_

And then the transmission had cut, and Peggy couldn't remember how many times she's called "Steve" through the radio, in the vain hope that he might have somehow survived. A vain hope, and a fool's hope, a hope that had led to nothing but her tears.

"_Oh, for so long, I've tried to  
Shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the  
Freedom on your own  
Here I am, left in silence."_

It was 8:04 now, and even though she'd already known he would be late, it simply drove that fact home for her. Still, she couldn't help but let one traitorous glance slip towards the door, and she felt her eyes widen as she gasped. A man had just walked in, tall enough to be Steve, and she saw the gleam of blonde hair when he slipped off his hat. Even though she felt like she was setting herself up for more disappointment, she couldn't help but lean forwards slightly, and silently urge the man to turn around.

When he did, whatever air that had remained in her lungs slipped out, and she raised a hand to cover her mouth while it gaped in shock. It was _him_. His serious eyes landed on her, and the bright blue lit up as a small smile curved his lips. Peggy held great pride in her ability to maintain control in any situation, but as he walked towards her through the crowd, she couldn't move a muscle. Only sit, and watch as he came closer, unable to take her eyes off him.

"_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven."_

"Agent Carter," he greeted formally; giving her a small bow.

She shook herself lightly, and stood, not that that stopped her from having to crane her neck back to be able to look him in the eye.

"You're late," she said.

"Can I apologise with a dance?" he asked; reaching out for her hand, and putting his free hand in the small of her back, pulling her closer.

"You might be able to, but it might take more, you did promise after all." In truth, she wanted nothing more than to just sink into his arms then and there, and savour this miracle that was his return.

"How about something else then."

He didn't say it like a question, but rather, as a statement. Gently, the way Steve had always done things even before his enhancement, he cupped the side of her face with his hand, and slowly began to lower his head to hers.

But before their lips could touch, the way that they had had only one chance to do, Peggy's eyes flew open. Sunlight filtered through her curtains, and slowly, she sat up. She wasn't in the Stork Club. She was in her bed. Looking around her familiar room, she found that she couldn't bear the sight of it, burying her face in her hands, and feeling the wetness of tears that stained her cheeks. For several minutes she stayed like that, unable to bring herself to get up and face the day. It had been months now, but her mind was still full of Steve, and full of regret.

"_I've been so lost since you've gone  
Why not me before you  
Why did fate deceive me  
Everything turned out so wrong  
Why did you leave me in silence."_

But she couldn't stay like that, as she always did, she squared her shoulders and raised her chin high. Wiping the tears from her face, she put on the mask that she had become so apt at over the months. When she rose from the bed and looked at herself in the mirror, she checked that she had the mark properly in place. Only her eyes refused to lose their sadness, but she let them rest for a few moments, and played out the dream on her closed lids. When she opened them again, steely determination stared back at her.

She was Agent Peggy Carter, and she was British, she would keep calm and carry on all throughout the day.

But she still dreamed every night. And woke up every morning with tears on her face.

"_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven."_


End file.
